Morning Musings

I'm sitting in the dining room of my B&B, where my gracious hostess is serving FEBs (full English breakfasts) to four Germans, one Englishman, a French woman (I'll tell you about her shortly), and another couple from some country I'm unable to pinpoint because they don't speak. Hard to guess based on their dress. I think they're hikers, but they look far too grumpy to be doing it properly. (Proper hiking requires pub stops whenever possible. They look like they've not darkened the door to a pub in many moons. No wonder they're grumpy.)

The Englishman is a fisherman. He felt it necessary to wear his fishing vest and waders to the breakfast table. All of his bits and bobs are clanking as he cuts into his blood pudding, rashers, and sausages. He looks rather silly, but it must be the look he's going for. He claims to have caught a mammoth salmon yesterday, which is keeping cool in the innkeeper's icebox. He slams his china teacup around like it's a Turvis tumbler and clears his throat often. I suppose he wants to be noticed, so I refused to acknowledge him. I'm childish that way, but you already know this.

The Germans keep saying "koochan" over and over. I know that's not the proper spelling, but I can't be bothered to google it. The wifi here is slower than me climbing The Gap of Bunghole. Koochan is a word I grew up with, although there's no guarantee we used it properly. We used it to refer to coffee cake. It would seem that our German diners are in search of something sweet, rather than a FEB. What I found so rude is that the youngest of the four Germans, who is thirty-five if she's a day, shook her head and pushed the plate away when our hostess placed a FEB in front of her. She wrinkled her nose and said, "Nine" (probably also misspelled, but I'm sure you follow). Our lovely innkeeper looked confused because she asks each of us in the evening what we'd like for breakfast the next day. After having agreed to a FEB (which is a boat load of food; rashers, sausage, broiled tomatoes, toast, fried egg, brown bread, and blood pudding), she refused it and asked for pancakes. I'd have barked "nine" right back at her and spoon fed her every morsel of that breakfast! Alas, our innkeeper is a much nicer person than I, but you already knew that, too.

The English fisherman just left. The innkeeper whispered to me conspiratorially that his "mammoth salmon" was barely more than a minnow. We had a good laugh before realizing he'd walked back in. I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that sort of thing. I felt badly for the innkeeper, but I thoroughly enjoyed the look on Mr. Fisherman's face. If I'd been on top of my game, I'd have snapped a photo. Priceless.

So, Miss Fussy Pants now has her pancakes and is pushing them around her plate with her nose crinkled. She is actually picking off the plate of the woman to her left, whom I assume is her mother. She didn't want her own FEB when it was served to her, but now she's devouring her mother's food and ignoring her special-made pancakes. I'm shaking my head as I bang away at my breakfast table set for two, occupied by one. (Again, this scene makes me lonely for my girl.)

The UQC (unidentified quiet couple) just left the table and walked directly into the innkeeper's kitchen as if they own the joint. For the record, that's a no-no in any B&B. There are private, personal spaces not to be entered by guests, and that's definitely one of them. You'd think the closed door would have given them a clue....so, they came out, collected their wet boots from the porch and carried them back into the kitchen. It seems they've asked our innkeeper to somehow, magically dry their wet boots. On the porches of most B&Bs that welcome walkers, is a stack of newspapers. The best cure for west boots is to stuff them with newspapers and then remove them after one hour and replace it with another hunk of newspaper. By morning, the boots will be dry. These silly walkers neglected to do that and now want our innkeeper to microwave them.

This is quality entertainment that you'd normally have to pay for and here I sit, enjoying it all for free.

Ms Fussy Pants also just walked into the kitchen. My mouth is hanging open at the behavior of these guests. Apparently, the Princess is in need of Greek yogurt. The fine Irish yogurt with fruit that our hostess have already provided isn't sufficient. Seemingly nonplussed, our innkeeper came out carrying a large tub of Greek yogurt, complete with a serving spoon. The hospitality of the Irish is wasted on these ill-mannered boobs.

I'd planned to eat only toast and coffee, but was served rashers, a fried egg, broiled tomatoes, sausages, and toast. I will eat as much as I possibly can and then hide the rest in a napkin. I'd hate for my hostess to think I don't appreciate her hard work. So, maybe I need to give Ms. Fussy Pants a break, maybe she didn't order a FEB last night, but I can't forgive her reaction to it.

I'm alone in the dining room now.

Well, I was momentarily. The innkeeper came out and we gossiped about how rude people can be. She's now sitting down for a well-earned cuppa while I finishing my morning musings and then pack. I want to be ready to go when she is. I appreciate very much that she's driving me to Caherdaniel (where I'd have stayed last night if I didn't take a day off). From there, I'll walk about fifteen miles to Sneem, where I intend to find Vivian and Owen to share a few pints. The thought of spending the evening laughing with them, catching up on their adventures since we parted ways three days ago, will keep me plugging along today.

Currently, it's slightly overcast, although the sun is trying to peak through. Things can change in the blink of an eye, so I'll be prepared for sun, rain, snow, and wind. Once a girl scout....

I hope you enjoyed reading this nonsense as much as I enjoyed witnessing it. More later, once I'm safe and warm in my B&B with a belly full of pints.

Slan.